Money quote of the Day

London police are now saying that Kate Moss was set up by an Asian drug dealer, and wouldn't have done cocaine had she not been 'set up'. One has to wonder then, why rehab Kate?

A source from the recording studio adds, "I watched him take the cocaine out of his pocket and start cutting it up and offering Kate a line. It was a big set-up. It is very, very terrible what he has done. He has tricked her into taking the line."

How very sad...

The Legend of Zorro

I have a very well honed movie rating system. It goes something like this:

- see it in a movie theatre at full price
- see it in a movie theatre as a matinee
- see it on a weeknight in the theatre using cheap tix
- Netflix
- see it in an airplane (captive audience)
- see it in the third ring of Hell

When a friend offered to take me a free preview of Zorro, I thought great I don't have pay to vet this one. Well folks the bad news is, I wouldn't pay to see this movie. It's definitely an airplane film. Ranks right up there with Sahara or National Treasure.

Don't get me wrong. I was a fan of The Mask of Zorro. As dumb as the plot was, it was a fun, rollicking adventure. Antonio Banderas was brutally hot, and he and Catherine Zeta Jones had so much chemistry they practically smoked when onscreen together. It was full of slapstick and witty repartee, and featured a tango that sent my temperature soaring.

In the sequel Zorro is having problems at home with the Mrs. His son, now a precocious 10 year old, can't see him for the hero he is, but only as a lazy land-owning Don. The plot is again totally preposterous. French knights are planning to start a civil war in America using, you guessed it, soap. I'm not kidding! There is a ridiculous duel scene in which Zorro and the frog take a run at each other mounted and whacking away with polo mallets. They really do. I don't know what the execs at Spyglass were thinking. Were you drunk?! I can just hear the meeting, "Hey guys, this has never been done before!"

Catherine Zeta Jones still looks hot in a corset, but her constant nagging was making my head ache. It was a bold move trying to field a sequel 10 years after the initial blockbuster. While this movie still has that fast, fun adventure feel the dialogue is stilted, the plot non-existent and except for one cute kid, it's not worth 2 hours of your life.

Anne Rice - Lost to the dark side?

I've been reading all over the internet, and in Newsweek magazine that Anne Rice is hanging up her occult craft and writing for the Christians now. It seems she suffered some sort of illness that brought her near death. This in turn led to a Faustian bargain in which she not only returned to the Roman Catholic church, but is now, and I quote, writing "only for the Lord".

I have to admit that I'm intrigued. I've been a Rice fan for many years. I was drawn like most to her rich characters. They use wonderful language, and are greatly conflicted figures who must do evil things, but despise themselves for it. She has a way of making them seem entirely real. She allows her readers to live events from inside their heads.

Now then, how irresistible would it be to get inside Jesus' head? None of us really understand him. The bible is so fragmented that what little we do know of his life is almost meaningless. He jumps from a boy in the temple to a man at a wedding and on from there. Knowing Ms. Rice's work it will be scholarly and well researched. I hope that it will also retain a whiff of the occult or at the very least the supernatural.

Though Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt sounds like the name of some abysmal new Disney movie, perhaps it will surprise me in a spooky Seven Signs sort of way. For there is no greater pleasure on a dark and chill October night than cracking a new Anne Rice book.

The 40 Year Old Virgin

Just about the only thing in this movie worth watching is Steve Carrell. He of course if the 40-year old virgin. To his credit he manages to imbue his character with a sweet naivete that's heartwarming. When he finally meets a woman he wants to become intimate with, the machinations he goes through to convince himself he can do it are funny and bittersweet.

Catherine Keener plays the woman out to land his heart and his cherry. Her tough, touching performance had me from hello.

Paul Rudd was truly cringeworthy in this film, the scene where he falls apart after running into his ex-girlfriend at a date-around had me wanting to run for the hills. I usually love Paul Rudd, but buddy there was nothing to like about the character you've created in this film.

Romany Malco, however, was irresistible as Jay, the player who is at heart just an insecure guy who wants to settle down. His diatribe on taking home the drunk girl from the bar had me laughing out loud. Beware though, the drunk girl scene like the waxing scene goes way to far.

If you liked Wedding Crashers, you'll enjoy this too. Just be ready to cringe a few times.

Quote for the Day

"My marriage is good, bad, disappointing, thrilling - all the things a real marriage is."

~ Sarah Jessica Parker

Angry white girl

Now I have a few pet peeves, but one has been coming to the surface more and more lately. Last night I went out to dinner with a party of 5 people. I made a reservation online days in advance. Received a confirmation. Arrived at the restaurant with my party and proceeded to be in order (1) ignored by a man I thought was the host; (2) bumped into and barked at by 2 waiters for being in their way; (3) stared at, but not helped by the two gossiping bartenders; and (4) eventually noticed by the hostess who was MIA when I arrived. I explained that I had a reservation, and gave my name. She said the party at our table was paying and it would be 5 minutes. I agreed to wait outside (no more waiter drive bys) and said she could find us there when it was ready. 15 minutes go by. No update, no apology, no "I'm working on it". Meanwhile my party is getting very jumpy. They're from out of town. They don't realize that having a reservation in a San Francisco restaurant on a Saturday night is like playing Russian roulette. Will I get my table? Well the answer is no. After going back in to check on our table, and being told the party had paid, but not left. I lost my temper and walked our party.

I have to ask myself, what is a reservation? It doesn't get me a table at the time I asked. It doesn't get me a rental car of the type and size I request. It doesn't get me a hotel room all the time. It's like a chance at something that I want to be assured I have. If someone could do something about this they'd make a fortune off of me. I'm so tired of having to confirm and reconfirm my reservations only to find out they don't have what I've asked for. Why should I do all that work if they're not going to provide me with the service I requested at the time I've specified?

Now having re-read my post I'm feeling very Andy Rooneyish right now. True, I've never worked in a restaurant. However, I have copious experience keeping schedules and people running on time. It's just not that hard people. Do your jobs!!!

Wallace & Gromit: TCotWR

OK we all know by now that the Aardman Animation's prop and set warehouse was utterly destroyed by fire early last week. We know that the entire history of Aardman was wiped out. We remember how DreamWorks interfered with the creation of Chicken Run, driving the animators to distraction,and ensuring that CR wouldn't do as well as Aardman had hoped--So...we know how much was riding on W&G: TCotWR.

The critics are hailing the film, and it opened at #1 in the U.S. the week it debuted. So, I'll be the first to say: I hope that Aardman makes buku bucks on this film...but...as good as it is, it isn't as good as Chicken Run. Why? Because it's not a movie. It's a set of Wallace & Gromit shorts strung together.

Sure this thing is clever, the pace is frenetic, and the gags are non-stop. In fact, Aardman has put in place some of the funniest site-gags they've ever committed to film. But Wallace is no longer smart in that sort of irritating British way, he's just irritating. Gromit is timid not endearing. IMHO, the best part of the film is Victor Quartermaine (voice of Ralph Fiennes) and not...Gromit, and that's definitely not a good thing. Chicken Run had characters. W&G has caricatures.

Basically, I walked out of the theatre saying to myself, "OK, I've now seen 6 Wallace & Gromit shorts. I hope they don't make any more." Sadly, after the fire, Aardman may not have a choice on the issue.

Just Like Heaven

I recently saw the Reese Witherspoon/Mark Ruffalo chick flick on a girl's night out. I wanted to hate it. I thought, it's just another Sweet Home Alabama. However, I found that as I left the theatre I had really enjoyed those 2 hours. Sure, the chemistry was missing in action, and their love story was a real stretch, but I love Reese Witherspoon and I especially loved Mark Ruffalo.

She plays a cute, young, overworked doctor who is hit by a truck on her way to a blind date at her sister's place. He's the guy who sublets her empty apartment while she languishes in a coma. This being Hollywood, of course he gets tangled up in her life. After trying to drink away his vague (and soon explained) pain, he finds he can see her "spirit". This of course leads to some cute sight gags like his showering in swim trunks because he knows she's watching him. It also leads to some rather unbelievable chases and antics at the end.

In it's defense, Reese gets to wear a really cute outfit for most of the movie. I'm sure she burned it in effigy after primary photography concluded, but I wanted to get online and order it right then and there!

It's a Boy!

Prince Frederick & Princess Mary have given birth to a fine male heir. Denmark must be so proud. I'm not much of a royal watcher, but Mary has earned herself top billing in my book. The ex-Australian seems to be channeling the late Princess Diana. She struggled from her working class roots into a pub where she was picked up by a Danish royal. Turned that fling into a lifetime commitment, fabulous clothes, and a crown. Go girl! Then within a mere year of joining the Danish royal family produced, a son. This princess is worth her weight in gold. Congratulations Denmark, nice catch!

Good evening Mr. Blonde

The new James Bond has been chosen. I know, exciting news. Who is it going to be this time? Who could follow in the suave footsteps of Sean Connery, Roger Moore and Pierce Brosnan? (Timothy Dalton was just a blip people). It's...wait for it...Daniel Craig.

Hmmm, the name sound familiar. Yes, I know Mr. Craig. The nemesis of Laura Croft in Tomb Raider, the lead in Layer Cake, the English version of Philip Seymour Hoffman. What an odd choice. He's, *gasp* blonde!

I have to ask myself what Cubby (RIP) and Co. are thinking on this one. Yes, Daniel has a British accent, and to his credit does look fairly dashing in a tuxedo. However, I don't believe that he has ever been clean shaven. And what to do about that hair color. In my entire lifetime James Bond has always been a brunette. I guess only time will tell if Blonde Bonds have more fun.

Fear of flying - Quote of day

Advice from John J. Nance on flying in a Post 9/11 world...

This is an entirely different industry with the heart of a bus line, the soul of a subway, and the financial attitude of Ebenezer Scrooge. So learn their dance, stay cool, and breathe deeply.

I'm having a space alien's baby...

Big news of the day, Katie Holmes' bump. Everyone is talking about the fact that her newly announced pregnancy appears for all intents and purposes to be at least 5 months along. See of yourself.

www.sky.com/showbiz/

I don't pretend to know the ins and outs of the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes "October surprise". However, given their close ties to Scientology, I'd be not at all surprised if it was a space alien's baby.

Kitchen Confidential - Don't miss it

Tonight on Fox it's the smartest, funniest new show on television since Fraser. Dialogue is fast and furious. Great actors, good writing. It stars Bradley Cooper, the most overlooked man on Alias. He has the bluest eyes, and a killer smile. Cooper plays the ne'er do well chef of a hip New York restaurant called Nolita. This being his second *and last* chance to make a name for himself he's motivated, and you guessed it clueless. Also appearing, Nicholas Brendan, a.k.a Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, now a neurotic pastry chef. Jaime King, ex-model doing a brilliant turn as a really dumb, but beautiful, hostess. However, the yummy snack of the show is Owain Yeoman. He plays a thief/chef with an Australian accent like dripping honey. Some genius casting going on here folks.

I urge you to check it out. If only because I want to keep it on the air and Fox keeps canceling everything I've ever liked. Firefly anyone?

Espetus Churrascaria - Don't Bother

Yeah the meats are good. So what! You can get great meat a hundred different restaurants in this city. Yeah, meat arriving at your table on huge skewers is novel, but waiters weaving through throngs of people with large knives and dripping juices on the floor and the patrons isn't exactly...fun.

About the width of your living-room, this place has major traffic flow problems. Way too many people crowd the bar, and this blocks the single path from most of the tables to the rear, where all of the sides are served buffet-style.

Loud, crowded, hot, and shambly--you'll spend a fair amount of money for the dubious pleasure of sampling up to 10 kinds of meat, but who can eat that much in an evening especially in restaurant that you're just dying to get out of.